Many of you have asked about the personal life coaching and mentoring that I do, and why I named this blog The Happiness Zone. [Note: This was original name of my blog].
The main reason is because I believe that the glory of life on earth is to expand our possibilities. I like to discover and share possibilities that may help us to be happier. In these economic times, it becomes even more evident that our source of happiness and peace comes from within. So, to stay in the ‘happiness zone’ will give us great support and ease.
We’ve come to a time in our lives, in the United States and other developed countries, that what we depended upon or took for granted, is no longer stable, like the banking system. I guess the trust was only an illusion anyway. As people are losing their jobs, facing foreclosures, and increased prices, it’s crucial that we not be taken down by pessimism or doom and gloom. Therefore, keeping my blog alive with tips and inspiration for happiness is my way of creating more joy in the world.
Most of my teaching and coaching is based on The Option Method and I will explain it by answering some of the common questions my readers have asked me.
Q: What is the Option Method?
A: I know many people think I trade options on Wall Street when they hear the name! That couldn’t be farther from the truth. The Option Method that I’ve been using for 18 years, is a dialogue–a self inquiry system of questions that helps you Uncover, Question, Explore and Dissolve limiting beliefs and conflicting emotions. [UQUED.]
It is a method that actually can help you discover life-enhancing options for reacting to situations, instead of self-defeating ones. The choices we make in life stem from our belief system. If we believe something is bad, then we believe we should feel bad. It’s not the event that is the problem but the meaning we attach to the event. By changing our perceptions, we can actually be happier. It’s a priceless tool to be able to be happy even before our lives are lined up just right. Once we realize there are other options to our default emotions and to our limiting beliefs, we see greater possibilities. We actually question the thoughts that made us unhappy in the first place. Through a series of questions, we explore unhappy feelings and limiting beliefs. Simply stated, once we find that our limiting beliefs are not true, then they dissolve and along with them, the conflicting feelings.
Q: How long has the Option Method been around?
A: About four decades ago, the late Dr. Bruce Di Marsico, created a series of respectful questions that were based on acceptance of his clients. In addition, acceptance or non-judgement is part of the self development process–learning how to accept ourselves and those around us.
You may explore any feelings that keep you stuck in a place that won’t move forward. Feelings that hold you back or prevent you from having friends, being successful in life.
Feeling fear, anger, worry, anxiety, discouragement, rejection and other possibly unwelcome feelings are reflections of your thoughts. Find out how to identify and calm your fears. The Option Method offers you a way to look at life differently, with a fresh perspective.
The reason you feel discomfort, is because of your belief system. The premise is that if you are unhappy, it’s probably because you are believing something that’s not true. Once you find out a belief is no longer true, it starts to dissolve and along with it, the unhappy feeling.
You move away from a peaceful state when you believe an untrue thought, such as “I’m not good enough.” I ask you questions when I’m mentoring, so you can identify your unhappiness. Basically, you become more conscious and responsible for your feelings and the results in your life.
Q: What do you mean by unhappiness?
A: It does not mean you are necessarily sad or depressed, although you may be. What I mean by unhappiness is any feeling you have that you don’t like feeling. Some of the many feelings could be disappointment, discouragement, overwhelm, or rejection. Some of us experience unhappiness as a sense of hopelessness or just being stuck in a rut.
Q: What are limiting beliefs and why question them?
A: A limiting belief is a perception of reality, a conclusion you came to, or something you were told you had no reason to doubt.
When we think a thought, physiological changes occur in every organ and system of our body. Therefore, Our bodies experience our thoughts as feelings or emotions. Wise teachings since the beginning of time has strongly encouraged us to change our thinking. “As a man thinketh, so he is.” To see a list of common self-defeating beliefs, please click here.
Q: How is your coaching different than therapy?
First, unlike other modalities, the Option Method does not ask you to replace an old belief with a new one. This means that once you find that the limiting beliefs are no longer true, they begin to dissolve like ice in sunshine. You begin to feel relief and happier because simultaneously the unwelcome feelings you grew accustomed to, change with the beliefs.
Secondly, as an Option Method mentor, I am not diagnosing or giving advice. I just help you find your own voice to make your own decisions. I hold with the premise that you are the best expert on your own life. You may have gotten confused along the way and you just need to get clearer by uncovering, identifying and transforming the beliefs behind the uncomfortable feelings.
Q: How long does a session last?
A: Each session is 55-60 minutes long. I work in person or on the phone. Both are highly effective. My job is to listen, without any judgments or assumptions. This means that I accept you where you’re at without expectations. I’ll help you uncover the beliefs underlying your uncomfortable feelings and the result is more peace and happiness.
In my 18 years of working with people, I’ve been trained to be a good listener, with a loving accepting attitude.
Q: How long does it take to get rid of limiting beliefs?
You could experience a huge ‘aha’ moment in your first session. I don’t know how long it will take to dissolve your limiting beliefs but in my experience anyone who is open to exploring their blocks, move forward. They feel relief. I think having the Option Method dialogue questions as a lifelong tool will always help you when daily situations challenge you.
The more consistent you do a series of sessions, I think the greater the results, but again, don’t get hung up on ‘how long.’
Do you have other questions? Let me know in the ‘comment’ area.
As Voltaire so aptly stated… “Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.”
You are welcome to reprint, copy, or distribute Lenora Boyle’s article, provided author credit is included.