Through coaching and teaching, I have compiled a list of common limiting beliefs that women have shared with me. I thought you might want to take a look. Check any statements that resonate with you.
Are you willing to ask yourself a few questions to change your beliefs and change your life?
- I’m not enough (e.g., good, educated, thin, young, smart, rich enough).
- I need to make others happy so I won’t be rejected.
- I can’t be happy until he/she changes.
- I have to earn other people’s approval to feel good about myself.
- If I let people really get to know me, they won’t like me.
- I have to stay in the relationship because I can’t make it on my own.
- If I’m happy even when others are suffering, it means I don’t care.
- I can’t be happy until the relationship/career is different.
- If they really loved me, they would _________________.
- I need to do more and more to be worthy.
- I don’t know what I want.
- I shouldn’t put my needs before others’.
- I’ll never really change.
- I’m responsible for other people’s happiness, and they’re responsible for mine.
- I don’t deserve love, success, money, fame, etc.
- If I pursue my own interests, my relationships will suffer.
- I don’t have time to nurture myself.
- It’s too late for me to find happiness and success.
- If I speak my mind, I’ll be rejected.
- I should be farther along than I am.
- I’d better not be too happy, or I’ll just have farther to fall.
- Things will never work out for me.
- I shouldn’t have to ask my partner for what I want.
- I’m a bad/unlovable person.
- I need fear to motivate me and keep me in check.
- I’ll never make enough money.
- I’ll always have to struggle, while others have it easier.
- Whatever I’m doing, I should be doing something else.
- Health problems will always keep me from happiness and success.
- I can’t do it.
If any of these statements ring true for you, it may be time to take your destiny into your own hands by dissolving the beliefs that sabotage your success and happiness.
What is a belief? It is a perception of reality, or something you were told that you had no reason to doubt. How do you know that you have a self-defeating belief? If you are feeling some way you don’t like feeling, you are probably believing something that’s not true.
Choose one limiting belief and ask yourself these questions:
- Do I believe that?
- Why do I believe that?
- What seems true about that?
- What might concern me if that belief were gone? (What might happen that I would not like?)
These questions give you a powerful starter kit for creating happiness beyond belief. Freedom from your beliefs is life changing.
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Lenora, I heard you speak at the WM Spirituality Conf in MN. I went away unable to find a limiting belief. I kept it in the back of my mind all of the time. About 6 weeks later I found one. I was in awe and didn’t know what to do. I worked at it and found out how to dispel it. Funny enough that cracked the code and now I see them clearly all of the time. Thanks, your class was enlightening. I would say to others have patience and keep trying. I felt silly when I could not find one limiting belief. Now I know it can just take time to see them. Thanks Lenora! Sincerely, Amy Vasterling-MN
Hi Lenora,
I am in a class with your daughter, Grace and learned about your business through her blogging. I am a Vermont crafter and own my own business, Kalax Creations. You can view my site at http://www.kalaxcreations.com. I am interested in your work because, like you, I am a woman-owned small business owner. Also, my blog addresses some of the same issues you speak about. For example, you address obstacles to success. I encountered some of those obstacles in starting my business and blog about them. If you’d like to look at my blog, it’s at kalaxcreations.blogspot.com. I would love to chat with you.
Best Regards,
Jillian Kaplan
Many of us don’t know that we live our lives based on limiting beliefs because they are hidden, or we just don’t give words to the self-defeating thoughts or feelings. A good way to practice hearing beliefs is to listen to movies, and find phrases the actors say, like ‘I’m too old to start something new.” Of course, the idea is not to just catch ourselves living by some limiting belief or conditioned response, but to question that old paradigm to help it dissolve. To see some of the Option Method Questions I use, click on:
http://www.changelimitingbeliefs.com/Limiting_beliefs_articles/option_method_dialogue.html
Great article. I love how you tied everything back to that word BELIEVE. It is always good to do this type of self-check on your belief system. Remember what ever we believe, it will ultimately drive our behavior. We have to practice positive self-talk so that we move those negative programs. It can be done but it will definitely require work and if you are willing to do the internal work, you will see remarkable changes in your life.
I love how you tied everything back to that word BELIEVE. It is always good to do this type of self-check on your belief system. Remember what ever we believe, it will ultimately drive our behavior. We have to practice positive self-talk so that we move those negative programs. It can be done but it will definitely require work and if you are willing to do the internal work, you will see remarkable changes in your life.