12652714_mJudy was in the process of losing her home because of some financial decisions made by her husband.

She was very upset, and felt like neither God nor her husband was taking care of her. Judy was afraid of her unknown future and was losing the ability to control her life.

Her worst fear was that she might end up as a bag lady.

Through the work we did together, she started dissolving these limiting beliefs and fearful emotions that were holding her back, and began to feel less gripped by them. I call this a Paradigm Shift. Her energy changed and she became empowered to embrace what was.

The situation stayed the same, but she began to ACCEPT it.

The losing of her house didn’t have to mean she had been abandoned or was being victimized. As she said in her words, “My whole universe changed when I just saw it as it was.

A new reality dawned.” As a result, misery changed to peace.

What is acceptance?

Acceptance is seeing WHAT IS, without judgment of any kind. It’s the ability to perceive reality without categorizing something as good or bad, right or wrong. It just is.

I recently gave a talk at my local Toastmasters about Acceptance. In my coaching work, acceptance is a crucial step in the process that allows us to make changes in our limiting belief systems free from judgment of ourselves or of others. I recently read a book called Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. A psychologist and a practicing Buddhist, she made some very beautiful points. One in particular stood out in my mind:

“On this path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.”

Most of us tend to be “judgment machines”, constantly assessing whether this person or that situation is good or bad, or, even worse, whether we ourselves are worthy enough. Often, we are our own worst critics and the problem with that is that we can never escape from this particular judge!

Here is a useful formula to develop acceptance and avoid being harsh on yourself or on others, which then allows change to happen in a natural way:

Step One: PAUSE. Allow a moment of SILENCE so the chatter of judgment in the back of your mind begins to quiet. In that silence of non-judgment, there is healing. In pausing, we touch the FREEDOM that is possible in any moment when we are not resisting.

Step Two: ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT IS. Recognize the situation and any fears you may have about it with unconditional friendliness.

Step Three: RELAX into the situation and ACCEPT how it is.
(Many people fear that this is resignation and creates weakness or passivity. This is not “Grin and bear it.” It is giving yourself the time to see things clearly)

These three steps for developing acceptance in your life will allow for CHANGE to happen easily and naturally.

What’s between you and your sweet life?

No matter how successful or happy you are, there is always something you can improve. I work one-on-one with men and women, in person or over the phone.

Simply click the button below and contact me to schedule your free 15-minute meet-up with me.

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